August 29, 2011

• The Seven Year Itch.

   

  Just the other day The Franksabunch™ was talking to someone about the seven year itch, a discussion more salient because last weekend was my fourth wedding anniversary.  *Pauses for applause*  For the unfamiliar, the seven year itch is a relationship colloquialism stating that after seven years of matrimony, one or both partners will get bored and seek out the company of another.  Most people use the itch in reference to sex, but in truth it is broader than that.  Whenever you hear someone talking about how the butterflies are no more or how love eventually goes away and you are left only with companionship, they are talking about that seven year itch.

   

  The great fallacy of love is that it is considered or treated as if it were an emotion.  It is not uncommon to hear a friend say, “Oh, I’m so in love with him” when said friend receives a gift or has a great time on a date but not so much if he turns out to be a cheapskate or a banal boyfriend.  We have all heard someone say, “I fell out of love with her when I found out about [insert misinterpreted issue here]!!!” but not when the girl turns out to be the best thing since a Chipotle burrito after 3 hours of basketball.  

   

  Love is not at the mercy of addition or subtraction, neither is it subject to manipulation by the events of the past or one’s hope for the future.  Love is no more the opposite of hate than it is the maturation of like.  It is as intangible as it is tangible, as preternatural as it is natural.  It is an either/or, not a continuum.  That is the reason why you can love someone but despise them; the reason why a parent can love a child who is driving him/her insane; and the reason why you can love someone for years after they have passed on from this earth.  (But do not get me wrong, love does not always equal happiness.  There are many people in this world that you can love but whose reciprocation would make you absolutely miserable.)

   

  I do not get the butterflies as much these days when I wake up every morning and see my Wife™ sleeping next to me compared to when we were dating and I would have to wait until the weekend to see her.  However, though butterflies are fun to experience, the metaphorical matches the entomological in that they are fleeting in nature.  

   

  It is easy to define what love is not rather than grasp what it is, but I can say that knowing that—come hell or high water, butterflies or no butterflies—I will always wake up with her next to me is definitely more the latter than the former.

   

  So bring on the seventh anniversary.  I won’t be worried because I may have 99 problems but an itch ain’t one.

  • 12:32 am
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