March 27, 2007

• Family.

   

  What does it mean to be family?

   

  The quick answer is the easy answer.  A mom I cherish as the last of the Taiwanese generation and for the simple fact that she’s my mom.  A father whose love I will never forget, whose lessons I will always remember.  3 sisters that I adore but will never tell them that I do.  (I’m Man like that.)  And 4 nephews and nieces that I wish would stop growing, stay forever young and allow me to store their cheeks in jars to open in case of emergency.

   

  What does it mean to be family?  Is that all there is?  Sharing DNA?

   

  Yesterday I spent part of the day visiting and helping out at the SF Home and Garden Show.  One of my friends from high school grows/sells orchids and flew in from Hawaii to sell his goods.  3 of us, all high school classmates living in NorCal, came to help him out.  They took much joy in laughing and enjoying how “the doctor was the one bagging the flowers,” which was reminiscent of our Vegas trip when I was the one unloading all the bags from the taxi (why not? I’m the one with the biggest muscles ).  (I knew the least about orchids, so it was better for me to avoid explaining things to customers and just package the orchids.  That and I was lethal after eating some garlic fries.)

   

  It’s always been that way with them.  No respect.  And I love it.  Haha!  It keeps me real.  When we were younger one of my best friends would refer to us boys as “The Ohana.”  (Which means “family” in Hawaiian.)   Early on we didn’t include the girls under that umbrella—being like most wahines at that age, their social maturity was as nascent as their bodies were nubile, causing splintering cat fights here and there.  But the boys?  Sure, there were cliques amongst the males in our class, but there was never any animosity and every chance meeting included a wrist snap at the end of the handshake.  (For some reason only the bball/hip hop community and “locals” from Hawaii shake hands like that.)

   

  I thought about this as the 4 of us—a doctor, an accountant for EA, a rep for Eveo, and an orchid farmer—all talked about our friend who was unemployed for about a year and others who indulge in habits that one day could lead to one of my greatest fears, seeing one of them in the hospital 3 decades too early.  We are all so different, but here we are...bad boyz for life, ride 'til we die.  Over the years we’ve fought each other, driven each other crazy, but we’ve also rallied to support one another in times of illness, broken relationships and financial hardships, while still ragging each other about things that happened over a decade ago.

   

  Yesterday we also talked about our friend B.  We both went to the same elementary, intermediate and high schools together.  Growing up in the same neighborhood I remember hanging out at her house back in the days when being a latch-key kid was safe. After high school then college hit we ran in largely different circles, but still kept the requisite myspace connection.

   

  When my father died 3 years ago I was living in the mainland and with the chaos that is involved in funeral planning I didn’t have the chance to tell everyone.  I simply sent a quick email to a random group of people, which did not include her.  But there she was, along with another friend, Shelley, who I had not spoken with in years…there they were, standing in line to greet my family after the service.  I never told anyone this, but seeing them there was more touching than having my close friends, GF, or family there.  Because having them there meant that people who I had no contact with in years still cared enough to come to support me and my family.

   

  And I feel a forlorn sense of sadness when I remember that I never really took the time to say thank you to them for coming.  B, we just found out, is in the middle of a fight for her life.  She has a condition which I won’t say here, but it touches me to see her friends rallying around her, madly circulating emails through channels long silent to spread the word about a fundraiser they are going to hold for her.  (It’s going to be a dinner/entertainment/silent auction held April 22^nd in Aiea, in case any of you Hawaii peeps want to go, or if you want to send a check, message me and I’ll send you the address for the fund.)

   

  To place someone else’s needs above your own, to put their heart in your heart, your mind on their mind, and their soul in a place where it will never be lost or forgotten...  That is what it means to be family.  And my dear friend, no matter what happens, you have your family.   All of us.

   

  I can’t be there, but you know that my support will be.  Take care and God bless.

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  Check out the orchids I got from my friend.  He can ship to the mainland (actually that's most of his biznass).  Orchids make good gifts and decorations (the last of our friends to get married used orchids as the centerpieces for dinner…nice!). 

  

   

  If you're interested, let me know and I'll forward you his contact info (for some reason his website is offline right now).  Have a great week!

   

  And you MUST check out the new video of the week (finally updated after 4 months).  I'm humbled by her skillz.

  • 9:25 am
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