January 29, 2007

• How to eat like a Ninja

  I had this past weekend off, which can only mean one thing...cooking!  I hardly have time to cook during my weekdays and working weekends, so I try to take advantage of my weekends off...  And, yes, this is simple stuff that even a former college linebacker can do.

  For this meal I thought I'd pay homage to Team Japan and its standard bearer, deux02, so here is The Franksabunch's™ guide to eating like a Ninja:

  

  The difference between fried chicken and mochiko chicken?  No one will ever be impressed that you made fried chicken on your own.  Step 1 for mochiko chicken: 4 tbsp mochiko powder, 4 tbsp cornstarch, 4 tbsp sugar (I prefer brown), 5 tbsp shoyu (a.k.a. soy sauce), green onion, 2 eggs, garlic (use that masher thing) --> whip up together in a mixing bowl (or rectangular tupperware, if you're ghetto fabulous).  Remember, homies, mixing ingredients is like farting in front of your GF for the very first time...make sure the first one is dry, and not wet.  Putting the wet ingredients first will make things harder to mix and letting a wet one fly will leave you without a date to watch Smokin' Aces.

  

  And as usual, remember to buy chicken that is on sale!  Woop!  Cut the chicken (I prefer breasts instead of thighs due to the fat content of the latter) into small pieces.  This does two things...increases the batter-to-meat ratio and lessens the chance of burning/overcooking.

  

  You're supposed to let it sit overnight or for 5 hours, but I usually don't have time and often cook right away or after one hour and it usually turns out okay.

  

  Did you think that I was only going to do one dish?  I ain't goin' out like that!  So while the chicken is marinating, mix together cream cheese, green onion, garlic, crab (real crab, you think I roll with the fake ones?) and white onion in a bowl.

  

  When putting together your crab potstickers, remember to squeeze all of the air bubbles out when you seal them.  Fry in oil until golden brown.

  

  After that throw some vegetables in a pot and make curry yakisoba (you can find the curry yakisoba at any local Asian store).

  

  Then cook your mochiko.  You're supposed to deep fry it but in an attempt to make it a little more healthful, I pan fry it.

  

  For salad I recommend the Angelo Pietro sesame and miso...  Manly hand not included.

  

  Don't hate me because I can cook.  Hate me because I'm smarter than you.   Ha!  Nah, but the best part is that this whole meal (good for 3-4 meals, actually) costs less than $20 (even less if you use imitation crab) if you don't count the seasoning (shoyu, mochiko powder, salad dressing, etc.) and the 20 lbs. bag of kokuho rose rice that's sitting on my kitchen floor.

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  And to start off the week on the wrong note (wrong notes, to be exact), here is a clip of presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton singing the national anthem (her voice becomes audible halfway through the clip):
  
  Is it just me, or did she sing the wrong words?!?!?!  She sang, "O say, does OUR star-spangled..." when the real words are, "O say, does THAT star-spangled..."   She sounds like a cat that just gave birth to triplets.  I hope that she didn't sing Chelsea to sleep, otherwise the former 1st daughter is likely irreparably damaged!

  edit: sorry, don't have a recipe for potsicker wraps...I'm not savvy enough to make my own.  I buy them pre-made. =D

  • 10:05 am
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