December 23, 2009

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  Franksabunchisms 2008-2009.

   

  The Franksabunch™ has pretty much exited my role as a writer here on xanga and I’ve largely been relegated to the life of a spectator (I do miss writing, though!), but while strolling through some older entries, I realized that I forgot to update the Franksabunchisms the past two years!  (Something only my really old school subscribers will remember.  Instead of summarizing my year every NYE, I decided to lift quotes from my writing.)  So, anyway, below are the ones from 2008-2009.  You can find 2007, 2006, 2005 lists here and here and here.  Over the years I’ve probably recycled a few and inadvertently stolen a few from others, but no ill will was intended!

   

  Have a great Christmas and NYE, everyone!  Remember the reason for the season and may blessings find you and yours!

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  Franksabunchism (frahnc-sah-bahnch-iz-em) –  A sometimes meaningful but usually meaningless literary morsel about life taken from the xanga blog of The Franksabunch™, quotes guilty of lyrically performed armed robbery (that’s a Wu-Tang Clan line) with the aid of gallons of Diet Pepsi.  Should he ever find someone that steals a Franksabunchism (without crediting him) for their own writing, he will go ninja style one time for your mind and drop E. coli in their coffee when they’re not looking so they will get explosive diarrhea. Cha. Cha. Cha.

   

  Love and relationships

  • In the end, love is less about fulfilling conditions than it is about simply being fulfilling and forgiveness is not given, but rather *is* a given, when it comes to those you love.
  • In relationships, synergy is more important than similarities.
  • A husband without his wife is powerless…just like Jessica Simpson without her boobs.
  • In our relationships, instead of approaching problems as you versus me, perhaps a better way is to approach it as us versus the problem.  We are not different people fighting, but rather people fighting different ideas. 
  • the real world isn’t like Super Mario…no one wants to date a princess.
  • Sometimes, it is more important to love than to be loved.
  • Sometimes the best thing about love is having someone who can shoulder your worst.
  • Love, you see, is not about who you should or could be, but rather is about who you are.  You cannot fashion yourself to become more loveable any more than you can mold another into someone you can love more, because once you reduce love into a form of currency, you rob it of its value.
  • The beauty of love is that no matter what wounds are hurting, what walls are falling and what dreams are fading, your beloved’s warmth will always be there to carry you through to tomorrow and beyond.
  • Women are like lightning storms…don’t try to understand them, just learn how not to get hit.
  • Looking for love on the internet is like visiting a nudist colony or a presidential campaign, where what is promised isn’t necessarily what is delivered.

   

  Life

  • The candle that burns twice as bright burns twice as fast but sometimes all that remains after a fire that burns bright are smoke and whispers.
  • Every moment you spend allowing hate to displace love is a moment of love that you can never get back.
  • There are many people that come in and out of our lives and a good portion of them will have some character trait or behavior that we find deplorable or more irritating than a Carrot Top marathon.  However, instead of immediately casting them aside or getting defensive, perhaps we should take a step back and consider that there is a reason why they are that way and grant them a little grace. 
  • Friends are like memories…some are worth cherishing for life while others are meaningful for the short time that they exist before they fade away.
  • There is nothing to be gained by spray painting a Picasso and neither is there any edification to be gained by smothering love with hate.
  • Bullying, you see, has more to do with your own flaws than those of your victim.
  • Negative attributes are a monopoly of mankind and not one particular kind of man.
  • Neglecting the hurt in your life only serves to make it hunger for you more.  And denying others a chance to peek into the maelstrom that lies beneath your happy facade only serves to isolate yourself further to a place where only you and your pain reside.  All wounds will leave a scar, my friends, but how big that scar gets is entirely up to you.
  • We all feel the need to be significant in someone else’s eyes and sometimes that which lies within the space between love and trust is a simple act of kindness.  Don’t underestimate the power of a gesture of compassion, friendship or affection because what may seem to be a few seconds to you may fulfill the needs of what someone else has been waiting years for.
  • Humility is like Metamucil…hard to swallow, but it makes everything smoother in the end.
  • Be careful of what memories you choose to endear yourselves with, because if you hold on to the ones filled with anger, jealousy and hate, those are exactly what you will become. 
  • Like Icarus, we all fly through this world with wings of wax, but what separates us all from one another is how high we are willing to fly.
  • Your heart is only as good as what you would sacrifice it for.
  • Sometimes it is the journey that creates and necessitates the destination and not the other way around.
  • Any moment spent living in anger is a moment spent living alone.
  • Anger, you see, only serves to separate us from the ones we love.
  • Fame and fortune do nothing for the soul. 
  • You cannot find redemption in a bottle, nor can you find peace in a pill.  Like is not the same as love, and a heart that tries to find warmth from without will always be cold within.
  • I would not trade grace and forgiveness for all the gold in the world, neither would I do the same for its unending adoration.

   

  The rest

  • We should remember Michael Jackson not only for his artistry, but also for his life, which showed us that fame and fortune can neither fulfill nor cast aside the demons that besiege us inside.
  • Many are saying that we should only hold onto Michael the artist and forget about the rest.  However, to do so would be the true tragedy for while his voice and two fly feet made him soar like angels, it was his demons that made him mortal and human.
  • Internet trolls are like the large intestine…they may make lots and lots of noise, but at the end of the day they’re still full of crap. 
  • Your memories are the reservoir from which you draw upon to create the essence of who you are.
  • For men, going to chick flicks is like wearing a jockstrap during football…it’s uncomfortable during the time you’re there, but it also prevents permanent testicular injury.
  • The size of a woman’s bladder is inversely proportional to the size of her purse.
  • A pair of jeans should be like your teenage daughter’s first date…no butt-hugging allowed!
  • We should always have pride in whatever jobs—big or small—that we have, but we should also have respect for the responsibilities imbued upon us for we all at one time or another will find ourselves at the mercy of another.
  • Like the Loch Ness Monster, fat-free pizza and the ugly Korean girl, I always thought that the tale of women wanting married men was a myth.
  • No amount of pride or anger is worth increasing the space between you and your loved one.
  • The legacies that endure are not fashioned with cold steel or purchased by coin, but rather are those that leave an indelible impression on the hearts of others.
  • Like squeezing your buttcheeks together before you cough, avoiding girls who wear black lipstick is something you should have learned in elementary school.
  • Money can’t buy you love, but it can certainly buy you herpes.
  • Eating a veggie burger is like walking into a strip club blindfolded…you may think you have no guilt but you still end up in nutritional/spiritual purgatory.
  • Marrying a girl who had plastic surgery is like marrying a druggie…one day you’ll wake up and find that all of your children look like Amy Winehouse.
  • The Oscar awards are nothing more than Hollywood patting itself on its collective back, a pageantry that is the quintessential answer to the eternal existential conundrum…if no one watched it, it would not exist. 

   

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