July 29, 2008
-
Sunshine.
Recently, after spending 3 hours hiking The Franksabunch™ and The Wife™ went to gas up at Costco…and by “gas up” I mean the car got cheap(er) gasoline while I got a cheap $1.50 polish + drink combo…Huzzah! I love America! Anyway, after a brief discussion about how much cheddar Costco churns in its bank account a day she asked me if I had the opportunity to own and run a Costco, would I quit my job as a physician?
Her question made me think about the movie Sunshine, which stars one of my favorite actors, Cillian Murphy (the other favorites being Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba, and, well, Jessica Alba). [I’m not copying the Revelife post—which I honestly didn’t read and only went to so I could leave a, “I love that movie” comment—I’ve been meaning to write about this movie for quite some time.] The movie is set in a future where the sun is dying and the earth along with it as collateral damage. To save mankind, a group of astronauts (biologist, pilot, engineer, physicist, etc.) on board the spaceship Icarus head to the sun to deliver a nuclear payload the size of Manhattan to reignite it. Don’t worry, I won’t reveal the ending, but I don’t think that I’d be ruining the movie for everyone if I told you that at least one person dies during the movie.
There is a *deleted* scene where the psychiatrist asks Capa (Cillian Murphy), who created the bomb, if he’s okay with going on a mission where he might die. In return, Capa says that if their mission is successful, he’ll witness the equivalent of the big bang—creation—and with that he’d be okay with not returning.
With the recent death of “The Last Lecture” professor, there have been a lot of existential 911 calls made over the internet, and what I would ask of you, dear reader, is that since you are on a voyage that you will not be returning from (unless Obama finally decides to reveal to us that he’s the second coming of Jesus and takes us all up in the rapture…hey, I’m just reporting what I read in the papers!), are you okay with who you are and what you are doing? Is it worth the one-way trip you are taking through this world?
What is your passion? Are you living it or still dreaming it?
Like Icarus, we all fly through this world with wings of wax, but what separates us all from one another is how high we are willing to fly.
One thing I appreciated about the movie was the way it flipped the previously irrevocable dichotomies we have in this world. On earth light saves and darkness kills, while in space the light kills and darkness is safe. Mankind’s apocalypse is prevented by a nuclear bomb, rather than started by it.
Life is the same way. If you do not work towards your passion you’ll find yourself looking back one day full of resentment, but on the other hand if you work too much towards your passion you may find that the collateral damage is failure in other areas of your life.
I went into medicine with the intent to be the best physician I could, and what I lacked in science I planned to make up for in art. It is my passion to be the first person that comes to your mind when you are in that hospitable bed, wishing for someone to hold your hand to guide you through, whether through recovery or into the next world. It burned at me whenever I felt I was not good enough and I would stay longer to get better, but at the same time I knew that the 100-hour weeks were eating away at everything else in my life.
There are two types of jobs in this world
- Jobs you do because you love to do them
- Jobs you do because they give you the opportunity to do the things that you love outside of work
Though it is hard trying to find the right balance, I've been blessed that I have a job that is both #1 and #2. There have been multitudes of bumps in the road, but it has been a road that is well worth it. But to get back to my wife’s question, though the thought of making tons of money for less work (9 years of training vs. owning a Costco) and having unlimited access to the $1.50 polish combo, the answer is no, I would not trade an easier and more financially fruitful life for the one I have lived so far. Why? Because…
Like Icarus, we all will fly through this world with wings of wax and we all will eventually fall, but what separates us all from one another is how high we flew before we fell.
So remember, dear subbers and stalkers, you are on a one-way trip, and with that there is no such thing as flying too high.
--------
Have a great week! Sorry, it’s not the most refined thing I’ve written, but I’m busy packing and moving!
Edit: When did xanga start counting views? It's obviously not retroactive, as I checked an old post with >100 comments and it only has 50 views. And here is my favorite song from the Sunshine soundtrack.
Comments (31)
thanks, this was a good post.
Having just come from orientation at UCLA, I've had several arguments over the classic conflict: passion vs. practicality. I'm a humanities major (English, to be specific) and the South Campus science and math majors keep telling us that we're all going to live in boxes. It's a matter of money to them, I suppose. Many of those engineers and pre-med majors aren't at all happy or interested in their work. I'm thoroughly interested in the stuff I'll be taking. So what's better? I say passion, but reality tells me I'm a dumbass.
I have to think that I am impacting my world with wings of wax that God gave me. Sometimes with regret and not passion, I may get too close and melt my wings I have to fly my path that God has given me with passion and I enjoy it most of all. California will miss you.
wings of wax...hmmm... i haven't really read up on that....
yeah i always tell that to my bf that what kind of job i have is more important than how much i make. i learn every day and that's more important than doing the same thing every day but having tons of expensive cars & homes.
I have made peace with it so yes, I am okay with what I am doing at this moment and time.
Views. Hey, I just noticed that too.
lol well~ interesting, interesting, interesting AS ALWAYS!! =)
I try and not care what other people think and say, but sometimes, people say the most SHELL SHOCKING things to you, and you can't help but take a few seconds out of your life to REALLY think about it. I just like writing it down on xanga or paper or somewhere, so that I can go back to it and never forget that I had that thought. Plus its entertaining to go back a few years and re-read your thoughts... dun ja think?
No low life living for me. It is with Jesus Christ all the way I go and yes I will get burned, He said I would, but I am of good cheer because He has overcome the world.
When did xanga start counting views?
Be blessed!
No, not your most refined post. But you can be excused...this time.
Hey maybe we can get together in HNL! We leave in a couple of weeks.
hmmm #2 i guess but its more job i hate but lets me live in tokyo
<3
will watch the movie sometime somewhere someday.
hope you have a good weekend too. i would love to be an interior decorator. call me crazy but i love that sorta shit.
I'm kinda going thru something similar right now. I love my job and I also love the fact that it fulfills my innermost desire to do what it is that I've always wanted to do outside of work - to make a difference. Lately, I've come to the realization that even though the company I work for doesn't appreciate me or makes me feel like I what I do isn't good enough, I know that I've done a lot for my patients and those around me. Whenever I lose faith and want to give up and quit, I try hard to realize what it is I'm here for.
great post. it's really inspirational to hear from a doc who strives to be the best and is not bogged down mentally by the stress of work! i have a lot of passions outside of med and am worried about having to sacrifice these things for clerkship and residency...... because like you said I feel like there is always more to learn and more to do and one can never do enough =(
May not be the most refined post you've put out but it's a good one nonetheless!
All the best with your packing and moving!
the job thing i'm not sure. i think i'm stuck in between right now. I"m at a job I really like, but I can't do forever.
franksabunch you're a doctor right? (i'm not sure what type of doc you are, but i'll post my question anyway) i'm really lazy to call my doctor and see him. about a month ago a volleyball hit my middle finger right around the part where you can bend it. it bruised really small and it was in a bit of pain. not it's been a month and there's a small bump, and it still hurts when i press down on it. I've been reading up online and it doesn't really seem like it's something i have to see the doctor for..but at the same time maybe i should?
Good post, now hurry up and move back to Hawaii so I can have a house to let my little Hole self crash at when I next make it out that way.
As for your questions in this post- we'll know soon. Oh message please me or email me your new addy when you get a chance could you?
RIP Randy Pausch =(
ahh its always nice to read ur posts
they always give the needed spiritual/intellectual inspiration and kick in the arse to stop the constant go-go-go and really soak in ur surroundings* Indeed life is all about balance --and it requires a constant mental awareness and groundedness to be able to maintain it or at least strive towards it.
btw i loff costco hotdogs...mmm Tho, i remember when they used to have these delicious spicy polish dogs (or was that back in the day when i twas Price Club...)
I live with the hope that one day, I will be living out my passion; that it is the thing I get out of bed for.. unless I can seduce Leonardo Di Caprio - then I'd get out of bed (or into bed) for him.. (oops, is this blog a G-rated site?)
I'm still dreaming it unfortunately! But overcoming obstacles bit by bit...
jessica alba can't REALLY be your favourite actress. favourite piece of face to watch, yes (she is mine too). but acting?? c'mon doctor ...
most definitely...you and i have the best jobs in the world. and i do agree with the "making it the best run possible".
my parents think that by cooking i'm putting myself through needless demanding physical labor.but i get shivers of icy pride when my knives whip and flash and debone an animal in seconds, i smirk with glee every time my boss tells me i need to represent her in an exotic foreign country, i feel successful when my little brother perks up and hugs me because i made his favorite dish before he trudges off to college and pre-med.
so what if im struggling with my student loans? so what if sometimes im so tired that all my boyfriend and i can do is curl up and murmur to each other on the couch? so what if my hands arent as smooth or pretty? i'm making it work and so far its worth it.
You always write well, and you make sense.
Thanks, Franksabunch!
To answer your question... I like what I'm doing, for sure. But I know that there are more things I want to do, such as missions. But I'm still waiting on the timing and opportunities! However, if God wants to take me now, I am most willing to go. I'd rather be in Heaven than on earth anytime.
Represent our British movies!!!
Do you know how much cheddar a manager of a costco makes? It's crazy... I dunno. I think the field of medicine isn't what it used to be. I hear too often about typical, uncontrollable complications and litigation. It makes me ill... if you know what I mean.
I'm struggling in this passion of mine, but hoping it pays off. I'm the type of chick that's used to a lot of adversity though ...
Your intentions sound pretty honourable, doctor franks. I hope to have my #1 and #2's one day!
hehe yea that's why hubby and i miss living in america.
ryc, you know since you're a dr! they don't allow gymnasts to compete at 14 because their bones are still growing in the olympics. they're also worried about advantage since they haven't grown all the way. plus they worry about injuries. just like with the chinese divers. they're not as curvy as westerners so of course they're not gonna have as much splash! whatever. you know i'm not a fan of that commy country so...whatever... have fun in vegas! 
Comments are closed.