May 12, 2008

• What is love?

   

  If you asked The Franksabunch™ a year ago what my greatest fear in life was, I probably would’ve told you that it was dying young before I could accomplish my goals.  Ask me right now and I’ll say that it is losing my wife.  It’s not being alone that I fear, it’s not having her by my side.  Despite the fact that I’ve written about love in different ways many times already, marriage can certainly change a man and has taught me a few things in the short time that I’ve been enslaved married.  She has become such an integral part of my life that I find it hard to function without her (and get grumpy when she’s not around).

   

  Love is always having to say that you’re sorry.

  One of the things that marriage has done is to make me more aware of my mortality.  I actually think about my own death almost every day.  I think about it because I worry about who will be there to take care of my wife when I am gone.  I am no fool.  I know that the men in my family have a history of dying before their wives, which is why I always tell my wife that we’re going to have lots of mini-Franksabunches™, so that when I am gone there will still be a part of me here to watch over her.  But along with the realization of the light at the end of the tunnel, I am also more cognizant of the tracks that lay between then and now.  Every second is precious, every moment gold.  As I said in my anger post, no amount of pride or anger is worth increasing the space between you and your loved one.  Do you truly want the last memory your loved one has of you to be one of anger and separation?  But I also ask you this—do you want *any* memory your loved one has of you to be one of anger and separation?

   

  Love is leaving a legacy.

  Whose legacy do you think will survive longer, Bill Gates or Mother Teresa?  The legacies that endure are not fashioned with cold steel or purchased by coin, but rather are those that leave an indelible impression on the hearts of others.  When my time on this earth has reached the end of its days, I don’t want to be remembered by my children only when they glance upon a monument.  Instead, I want to be remembered by the way I taught them how to love and to live. 

   

  Love is never having to say goodbye.

  Love is the closest thing to immortality there is on this earth, for if you truly love someone, that person will never leave you and neither will you ever leave her, even after you have passed from this earth.  The beauty of love is that no matter what wounds are hurting, what walls are falling and what dreams are fading, your beloved's warmth will always be there to carry you through to tomorrow and beyond.

   

  I used to think that in order to have lived a good life that I had to do accomplish something extravagant, like discovering a groundbreaking new medical therapy or winning some distinguished writing award.  But after being with my wife (or, as I sometimes call her, “My Rib”), I’ve come to learn that if I live a life where I am well-loved and have loved well, then I have indeed lived a good life.

   

  My life is far from over, My Rib, but if God decides to take me tomorrow I would be okay because through you I have lived a good life.

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  Bonus post for all you unmarried male subscribers and stalkers!

   

  What love is not.

   

  Love is not dating someone who shops at Hot Topic.

  

  Alone I sit in my suffering darkness...want to go to Burger King after I finish sticking needles in my voodoo doll?

  Like squeezing your buttcheeks together before you cough, avoiding girls who wear black lipstick is something you should have learned in elementary school.  You want a wahine who can be a good mother to little kids, not scare them away!

   

  Love is not being able to eat what you want.

  Watching the UFC and Battlestar Galactica are the only things I can claim as my right of being the man of the house.  And for The Wife™?  She exercises the right of portion control.  So eat what you can now, homies, because after the wedding it’s all about the calorie count!  (I have no counterattack when she states that she does it because, “I just want you to live longer.”)

   

  Love is not flashing your money to impress a girl.

  You know what Franksabunchism #2,951 is, don’t you?  “Money can’t buy you love, but it can certainly buy you herpes!”   Be careful, young hustla.  Once the money is gone, she will be, too. 

   

  Love is not wearing a pair of butt-huggers.

  Apparently, I'm not the only one.  I was talking to my friend who told me that he, too, has a wahine in his life who constantly tries to get him to buy tight jeans.  Homies, as it is with tofu hot dogs, Celine Dion, apricot facial scrubs and Korean soap operas, there comes a time when you just have to put your foot down and say NO!  If not for yourself, then do it for America.  And besides, wahines like it when you say no once in a while.  If you always say yes they think that you don't care.  Confusing, huh?  Women are like lightning storms...don't try to understand them, just learn how not to get hit!

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  Have a great week, everyone!  For those of you who haven't seen Iron Man yet, stay until the end of the credits, there's an extra scene with a special guest appearance.  (I really liked Iron Man, but I thought Gwyneth Paltrow was miscast for that role.)

   

  Edit: Sorry if this song will be stuck in your head the rest of the day.  (Qumquat, you crack me up!)  If any of you feel emasculated, you can listen to this to get Haddaway out of your system. 

  • 9:43 am
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