September 4, 2007
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Beauty Fades/Skin Shallow.
Being married is weird. Ever since I got married my apartment is suddenly a lot cleaner and my dinners taste better. Haha! But as with all marriages, the eventual comparisons have started. I’ve had some comments (in real life, not xanga) directed to me how my wife is so much better looking than I am and that she could’ve “done better.”
I will be the first to admit that I am not a handsome guy. I’ve accumulated too much “baby fat” (baby as in I look pregnant) during residency and fellowship and every 2 years the FBI shows up at my doorstep to check if I’m hiding the Lindbergh Baby or Amelia Earhart in my nostrils. In fact, my modeling career ended the day I was born! Haha! I will not disagree that my wife is 300 times more physically attractive than I am. And speaking of the number 300, it’s like Ephialtes the hunchback marrying Queen Gorgo. Bwahahaha!
Anyway, I’m sure most guys would be offended and upset at hearing others say something like that but I’m not. I’m just sad for those people who place such a high value on that which is superficial.
They say that beauty is only skin deep. They really should say that beauty is only skin shallow.
All else being equal, if given the choice, we would all choose the better looking partner. Of course. But if physical attraction is what you value most in a partner, then you are setting yourself up for a big disappointment. You see, dear subbers and stalkers, beauty fades. And if your love is based on beauty, it will fade as well. Wrinkles and gravity will not keep you warm at night 30 years from now. In my experience, those who hold out for only the best looking partners are the very ones who are still single and desperate in their late 30s. But they are victims of their own desires, because by that age they are no longer felt to be desirable by other skin shallows. Either that or they are divorced because they found that skin shallow can’t fill the deep recesses of their hearts.
Be careful of what you wish for…because you just might get it.
I will admit that I did notice that my wife was hot the first day I met her. She was so stunning I nervously spilled my salsa chips at her feet during lunch. But it is not why I love her or why I married her. I am not immune to skin shallow (I am human, after all) because I have asked her before, “why me?” When she told me that the reason why she was initially attracted to me was because of the way I write only affirmed that I made the right choice. Biceps don’t last as long as brains, you know. Trust me, I’m a doctor.
So say what you want. Hold out for skin shallow. I, on the other hand, am going to live happily ever after with my wife…who also happens to be hot.
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Have a great week! Stay cool those of you burning with me in California! And sorry I haven’t been able to get back to everyone (both xanga and non-xanga), I’ve been busy!
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Here’s the live version of Jerusalem by Matisyahu (from his appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show), it’s better than the CD version!!!
Edit: If this is a surprise to you, read the post before this one!
Comments (61)
Didn’t even know you were engaged. But congratulations!
Your writing comes straight from the heart. In regards to women, you must appeal to their emotions, but you probably knew that.
i didn’t know you were getting married or even had a ‘wahine’!!
congratulations and couldn’t agree with you even more.
what sucks about physical attraction is that looks deceive even more than you can imagine and often times blind us and mask things we otherwise would’ve seen if the person were LESS attractive .. does this make sense?
anyhow congrats again!
i didn’t know you had a wife. congrats to your wife who has a great guy. *_~
Hey, you’re a doctor, of course your wife’s going to be better looking! No, seriously though, I can’t believe the outrageous and unnecessary comments people feel compelled to share.
OMG!! YOU’RE MARRIED???? i didn’t know that!!! congrats!!! when did you get married? very happy for you! being married is great fun when you find the right person!
Whatever, *I* think you’re hot.
Wow…congrats! What great news. =) You make getting married sound so low key, haha.
Congratulations! Whoa! You sure can keep it on the down low.
great post
my my, why aren’t you a lucky duck.
married, you just skipped the engagement!!
Congrats!
This isn’t a tric, right?
Eh, I know you are hot, so she must be smoking…= Super cute hapa T&K babies! Yay! Trust me, I am after all your favorite, and only family approved, friend/stalker.
Glad you are happy, and really hoping that I get to meet her at some point. As for me following your example- Mom made me promise a few years ago that even if I decided to elope I would make sure she and Dad were there. yeah not quite sure she gets the whole point of eloping but I got the point that as the only daughter she really wants to be there when I get married. So yeah… not going to happen anytime soon.
I was initially attracted to my husband’s kind spirit. He’s the most selfless person I have ever known and has a heart of gold. I’m blessed beyond measure. Glad you’re enjoying married life; I think it’s fantastic!
I feel you. My bf has the brains and the braun. I’ve got the getaway car.
I’ve heard from multiple sources that live Matisyahu trumps studio-recorded Matisyahu.
For all these time, your female fans thought they would have a chance. lol
Congratulations
Heheh. This is so true.
lol to nicole’s comment. don’t worry frank; i never wanted a chance with you. yep, now u hate me. i get it. ha i am messing!!!!
radjbo/jen from midnightAM
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you think the BAY was hot this weekend? I was burning it up in Reno…way worse.
forget those who are not as deep – i think lasting relationships also need the friendship part – because you also want to be kept laughing as well as kept warm for the next 30 (or more) years. =)
bwhahaha
u r married?!!!!!!!!!……..can’t believe u never dropped a word about it ! i’m in total shock……..but congrats!
Reading the last post still is a surprise. Bwahaha.
some of us are NOT shallow and we’re still single….b/c we just haven’t found the person with the brains AND the attractive factor. i didn’t say attractive to all…..to me alone is enough. it has to be there. looks can grow on a person when a person has a lovable personality.
did you ask your wife about posting a pic of her, dr. frank? lol.
i’m glad your meals are tastier now.
Whoever said your wife should’ve ‘done better’ needs to be punched. Really hard.
Looks are a funny thing. A few years ago I looked at my face in the mirror and matter-a-factly thought that the most i’ll prolly be is “sorta kinda cute”. I figured since I didnt want to change physically, I might as well make myself the most interesting person on the inside. 3 years of just doing my own damn thing ….and now ive got a mindblowingly awesome job, talk to lengths about a myriad of subjects, and have different kinds of men eagerly asking for just a minute on my busy schedule.Unfortunately I turn them down because none of ‘em have my boyfriend’s hilarious dark humor. He’s one of a kind and I dont need a pretty face to convince me of it!
you make some excellent points and good advice… congrats on married life!
Heck yes!
That said, I have to admit to being a bit shallow, not that I’d go out with a handsome jerk or anything. My pickiness is probably why I’ve never been out with anyone. XD
Anyway.
So, are we going to get food prep posts from the missus, now that the quality of the comestibles has gone up? Enquiring minds want to know!
hehe to your first few lines. congrats. i agree with what you’re saying. personality always beats looks. how long were u guys dating before u got married?
ahh now that’s true love mijo.
Haha, you almost made me shoot my drink out my nose with that baby fat = pregnant bit.
So I’m pretty stunned. Not so much that you got married, but just that I haven’t been around XangaLand too much, and the first post I read from you is about you being married. But now that I’ve somewhat recovered from the initial shock, CONGRATULATIONS!
omgosh! This is a surprise to me! I’m gonna go and read the last post now–I didn’t even know you had a gf! wWow! Awesome! Congrats! How long were u two going out for? Congrats! Best wishes to the two of you!!! =P You both are lucky to have eachother! =]
Wait, I don’t think you said *why* you married her. Only why she was attracted to you. You’re so shallow! j/k
Since when were you married!?
Sorry I’ve been away for a while. Still haven’t adjusted to the whole xanga frequent posting thing as I used to do before.
As for your post, I’ll admit, I have a big thing for biceps, but intelligence will always, always play a bigger part. And humor, too.
God I hope I don’t end up living alone. Why can’t we just MAKE our own life long partner, and get it over with!?
Wutta what?!?!! You’re married?
*cries*
Happy birthday!
true, men r more visual than women. the familiar gets better-looking thru time. looks will b less important after kids ( + time) b/c there’s too much invested
happy birthday! =)
LOL… I’d say that you have a pretty legitimate reason to be busy, mon ami. And I totally agree with everything you just said. I’m never, ever attracted to “pretty” guys because most of them have never had to develop a personality. However, if a guy locks me in an intense debate about global warming, I’m his forever!
p.s. What you talkin’ bout? You’re super adorable!
p.p.s. I love that she was attracted to you because of your writing. That just rawks!
I dunno…you seemed to have some pretty good meals, based on your entries.
when did you get married? to who?
Oh frank!
u one happy man!
ur wife is beautiful!
i think i met her once.
happy birthday buddy! and WE REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP! seriously, do you and yisu wanna do dinner with me and kenny sometime?
Congratulations on the marriage! Just remember, the shallow opinions of people only matter when you allow them to. Best wishes to you and the misses. ~Sally
yeah i believe i read quite a bit of your posts and you’ve never mentioned even having someone in your life. isn’t that kind of odd to do that? i can’t help but mention my bf in almost every one of my posts. my bf doesn’t have xanga nor does he read my xanga. it’s almost like you’ve been trying to hold back or something. i mean i don’t know how many years you’ve been with this person but a couple years of blogging and you never mention her name or the word “girlfriend”? that’s really weird!!
happy belated birthday!!
congrats on being married. when are the kids coming?
You go bro, join the club dubbed “Homely Taiwanese Guys with Good Looking Wives.”
People tell me exactly the same thing when I started dating my then girlfriend, now wife. She is also very good looking, and apparently I am not so good looking.
But at the end of the day, I was the one who took her home.
Congratulations on getting married. I am glad you are now complete.
I always seem to be comment #50 with you lately!
congrats again. the reason i blacked out my photo is that i look so ugly compared to you. you rule haha
why wasnt i informed of the marriage?
why wasn’t I invited?
WHY DIDNT I GET CAKE?!
ryc: mwahahah I have contacts everywhere!
ok fine, here’s a clue. my little birdie is so small people often don’t see her
woah~~! didn’t even know!
Congratulations and I hope you have a wonderful life together!
okay, we get it. your wife is hot. so how come you don’t post a pic of her?
“I’m just sad for those people who place such a high value on that which is superficial.”
i feel the same sadness.
and unfortunately it’s a learned concept. as for the skin shallowers…you’ll see it in their parents, or in their surroundings and friends … sometimes i think it’s sad in our hybrid culture too because oftentime being pretty or beautiful is the ONLY individuality it affords. that, and with how much money the guy makes.
cheers to eating well! how lucky she is beautiful AND can cook AND of course most importantly is beautiful on the inside.
*hugs* to my cuzz…love that you’re loving married life. you deserve it!!!
hhahaha
i’m sure you both got the good end of the deal
That is kind of mean of people to say that to you. From the teeny profile pic, I don’t think you look bad at all. Hm, skin shallow, I’ve never heard it put that way before.
Here’s a toast to unhandsome Asian boys getting hot girls! Oh wait…that’s only you. Biceps may fade, but the brain goes at a moment’s notice with the right combination of inflammation and thromboembolic plaque.
Wow. It’s good to hear a GUY say that appearance is not the most important thing in life. Thank you for your post… even though you have no idea who I am, it still managed to make my day.