July 8, 2008

• Seducing the married man.

   

  So last Thursday The Franksabunch™ was at the Vbar lounge at the Hotel Valencia at Santana Row hanging with one of my friends while The Wife™ was outside waiting for someone else.  At one point I randomly turned and saw this girl a few feet away who looked as if she was coming up to say something to me but upon finding herself inauspiciously ensconced in my visual field suddenly turned and walked back to her group of friends.  A minute later she pulled the let’s-walk-by-him-and-I’ll-pretend-to-talk-to-you-so-I-can-turn-my-head-to-get-another-look move.  Twice.  My suspicions were confirmed when a few seconds later my friend proclaimed, “Dude, that girl was totally checking you out, she did the double-take.”  “Sure she wasn’t looking at you?” I said.  “Hella no,” came his reply.  “She was looking at YOU.” 

   

  This was also not some seedy place and she was not some, well, seedy woman.  This was Santana Row, where the ballers come to bling and the wahines wear Seven Jeans to match their $7,000 butt lipo.  This particular wahine, though cute, smelled more of Stanford graduate student than platinum digger, however.  There was no way she could’ve guessed that I was a doctor because in a South Bay sea of men adorned in Armani and Affliction I was wearing the $5 shirt I bought on sale from H&M.  (Can I get a woop-woop from all the Taiwanese in the hizzouse?!  Represent!)  Like I said in my Googlie Eyes post, I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I’ve had a wahine give me the googlie eyes.  I’ve always been unattractive—think Rosie O’Donnell except male and Asian and with a brain—and having been to 24 hr fitness only 3 times since getting married, even my adipose tissue has developed adipose tissue, thereby relegating me to HMS (Heinous Male Status).  Knowing this I felt puzzled that she was checking me out instead of my single friend who is 300x more attractive than I am.  (I’m sure she saw that my ring finger was lit up since I was holding a drink in hand and it’s the first thing you look at when scoping someone out.)

   

  Like the Loch Ness Monster, fat-free pizza and the ugly Korean girl, I always thought that the tale of women wanting married men was a myth.

   

  I’m not sure if it is simply a matter of wanting something that you cannot have or if there is something more to it.  Perhaps it is also a matter of wanting something that is already packaged and polished instead of something that has to be built from scratch.  Relationships take work.  To be more specific, men in relationships need a lot of work with our manners, hygiene, wardrobe, commitment (or lack thereof), flossing…you name it.  So perhaps part of the allure of the married man is that you can get someone who has shown that he is capable of commitment and molding and that part of the domestication process has already been done by someone else.

   

  Is that such a stretch to believe?  In this day and age of instant gratification we have microwaveable everything, NY Times up-to-the-minute updates on our Blackberry phones and wrinkle-free pants.  We want the finished product but don’t want to put the work into making it. We want to be hired as a full partner without being an associate first.  We want abs of steel but don’t want to diet and exercise.  We want the happily-ever-after with the white picket fence but are unwilling to negotiate the space between selfishness and compromise.

   

  We forget that sometimes it is the journey that creates and necessitates the destination and not the other way around.

   

  That happily married man that you see and desire to steal away…  Perhaps he is happy because the trials and tribulations he and his wife have worked through together have brought them to a place where understanding and desire can truly meet.  That full partner in your firm you wish you could be?  If you climb up the ladder to get there you’ll find yourself always looking up but if someone hand picks you and plops you at the top you’ll find yourself always looking down.

   

  You can have your cake and eat it, too, but you have to bake it first.

   

  Relationships, as with everything else in life, take work, but that work makes the finished product all the more enjoyable.

   

  Even for us men with Heinous Male Status.

   

  Have a great weeeeeeeeek!

  ———-

  I saw Wanted last night.  At the beginning of the movie I thought it was going to be a rip off of Fight Club, but it turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would be and the last 10 minutes were off the hizzook!

   

  Edit:  Someone typed in on AOL search, “how to seduce my married doctor” and it led them to this post… @_@

  • 10:21 am
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