June 10, 2008

• Everybody loves a Kaba Modern girl.

  Literally. 

   

  [Disclaimer: I do not know these girls in real life, neither do I claim to know who they are as people, this is based on the perceptions engendered through the media and America’s Best (Rigged) Dance Crew season 1, which is what all the boys are basing their crushes on, anyway.]

   

  So The Franksabunch™ was at the Glas Kat (aka Tabu) this past weekend rollin’ with my VIP wristband and a gangsta lean (did you expect any less? ) where the main draw was a midnight performance by Kaba Modern.  Suffocated by all these Asian boys screaming out, “Yuuuuurriiiiii!” I wondered why so many guys were genuflecting to her—or rather, the person they think she is—as opposed to the other two, and it hit me…it’s because she fits the ideal woman to them.  The three Kaba Modern girls, you see, fit the three categories of wahines that all men, even if it is the end of them, pursue. 

   

  The Cindy aka the Mysterious Girl.

  

  Picture stolen from jonasapproved.  

  Her image: Cindy was given a lot less exposure on ABRDC than the other two.  In fact, I don’t think I remember her being interviewed until the end of the season.  Why?  Was it because she had a really bad FOB accent (not true), was ditzy (not true) or unattractive (mos def not true).  Whatever the reason, she had less exposure, which only served to leave more to the imagination and the imagination, as you can certainly surmise, fills the gaps with things attractive and promising.  She’s certainly no window dressing as she was a leader for the UCI campus KM, but she’s not the type of person snobby enough to tell you she was.  Shrouded in secrecy, the less you know…the more you want to know.  Unlike everyone else out there, I found her image the most alluring, even above that of Yuri. 

  Typical occupations: artist, writer, girl across the [fill in the blank] counter, speech therapist.

  Guys she attracts: Innocent nice guys who are afraid to admit it, nerds who play World of Warcraft and have never been on a date, and bad boys or rico suaves looking for a challenge.

   

  The Jia aka the Independent Girl.

   

  Her image: Strong and accomplished (currently or previously was the director for KM), Jia was clearly one of the leaders and choreographers.  She also threw in the occasional wisecrack, throwing an element of Sara Silverman into the mix (except Jia doesn’t look like her grandfather was a descendant of Mr. Ed), and had the most spunk.  Self-assured and capable of running a house or Fortune 500 company, beauty is an accessory and not a weapon for her.  I’ve always been attracted to the Jia type, figuring that if I can find a wahine who can take care of herself then our relationship would be centered on something else than her needs.

  Typical occupations: lawyer, surgery resident (in which case, run for the hills, young hustla, don’t date a girl who can filet you in 30 seconds flat), high-powered businesswoman.

  Guys she attracts: Guys who like having the woman run the marriage (i.e. Chinese/Taiwanese guys…hey, I’m just telling the truth, homies), starving artists.  (What is the difference between a pizza and an artist?  A pizza can feed a family of 5.)

   

  The Yuri aka the Girl Next Door

   

  Her image:  From her tears and “I love you, Umma and Appa!” in the 1^st episode to her, well, tears after making a mistake in the Thriller Broadway episode (after MTV changed their music the night before, mind you) Yuri emanates through her million-dollar smile the image of the sweet, compassionate and emotional flower, the girl next door that you want to roll up your sleeves and protect from the world, come hell or high water or Randy Jackson.  Others just like her because she’s drop-dead gorgeous.  She may not need to be rescued, but you think she does, and that’s why you can’t escape.  In the end, she’s probably the most wanted girl because all men like rescuing wahines and want a girl they think will take care of them.  I’ve always had a soft spot for the Yuri type because it kills me to see a wahine cry.

  Typical occupations: Teacher, nurse, social worker.

  Guys she attracts: Boys with KGF (Korean Girl Fetish…don’t lie, you have it, too!), churchgoers, everyone else with a Y chromosome.

   

  And for me?  How did I end up falling for my wife?  When we were both single she was inundated by a lot of date requests because as someone who was cautious with what she would reveal and to whom, she gave off the Cindy vibe.  People thought she was mysterious.  At work she’s definitely Jia and can crack the whip, but at home I’m the only one who gets to see her Yuri side.

   

  I guess you can have it all, after all.

   

  Have a great week!!!

  —–

  For those of you with a facebook and rep Fear to Faith gear, don’t forget to join their group! 

   

  • 9:13 am
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